BREAKING – A Chinese Takeover in view, £361m wild Summer spending spree to make Everton European giants – A simulation……

Everton’s £361m Wild Summer Spending Spree – A Simulation Gone Wild!

In a bizarre and intriguing simulation, Everton’s transfer window has gone into overdrive, with a staggering £361m spent on new players. But before we dive into the details, let’s set the scene. The Toffees have just avoided relegation, but financial uncertainty and ownership issues still linger. Can a new owner and a massive transfer splurge turn their fortunes around?

Enter our simulation, where a fictional Chinese billionaire takes the reins and goes on a shopping spree. Out goes Sean Dyche, and in comes a new manager, Mircea Lucescu, who promptly retires four months later. Vincent Kompany takes the hot seat, only to be sacked shortly after, and finally, Girona coach Míchel is appointed. Phew!

With the managerial situation settled (for now), let’s explore the new-look squad. Jordan Pickford remains in goal, but the defense has undergone a radical overhaul. In come Anel Ahmedhodžić (£33.5m), Moussa Niakhaté (£8.5m), and Arnau Martínez (£46.5m), a promising youngster from the manager’s former club. Aleksa Terzić (£10.5m) joins from RB Salzburg, and Nathan Patterson completes the defensive revamp. Ben Godfrey, however, is mysteriously loaned out to Juventus.

The midfield has also seen significant changes, with Amadou Onana still present, but joined by Danilo (£29m) from Nottingham Forest, Romain Faivre on loan from Bournemouth, and Angel Gomes (£66m) from Lille. Sverre Nypan, a highly-rated teenager, arrives from Rosenborg for a bargain £3.1m.

Now, onto the forwards, where Dwight McNeil remains the first-choice left winger. But wait, there’s more! Pedro Neto (£41m), Nicolò Cambiaghi (£9m), Ernest Nuamah (£27m), Matheus Pereira (£6m), and Adam Armstrong (£21.5m) all join the fray. Neal Maupay is transfer-listed, while Dominic Calvert-Lewin is sold to Aston Villa for £41m, replaced by Matheus Cunha (£60m). Beto, however, is the preferred starter up front.

So, after all this spending, where did Everton finish in the 2024/25 season? A disappointing 16th place. It seems that even with a massive injection of cash, the Toffees still can’t shake off their Everton-ness.

While this simulation is purely fictional, it’s entertaining to imagine what could be possible with unlimited funds. Perhaps a real-life Chinese billionaire will come to the rescue and splurge on some savvy signings. Stranger things have happened, right? After all, who predicted Roman Abramovich’s transformative impact on Chelsea?

In reality, Everton’s transfer window will likely be more subdued, but a fan can dream, right? Let’s just hope that whoever is in charge makes more sensible decisions than our simulated scenario!